Well, I am gonna just spit it out.. I’m moving back to my old home, the right place to be, which is 20six

I left for personal reasons and tried giving up blogging, and then when i wanted to blog again i moved over here, because the blogs looked smart and i knew a few people over here..

Except it just wasnt for me, I couldnt make it original how i wanted it, and I have realised that home is where my heart is, which is at  www.20six.co.uk/georgia209

I really hope you guys will still visit me over there.. Id like to see you

These are my most favourite Simpsons moments EVER

and this.. (but this whole episode is my fave!)

Apparently…. The searches are back from the solicitors, so I presume that we are nearly done.. but i wont count my chickens as these things seem to me to be ridiculously and actually unnecessarily slow!!

I shall keep you guys posted!!

1. My ‘ex’ is still – my friend

2. I am listening to –Adverts on the TV

3. Maybe I should – have a shower and then do some work

4. I love – my Marky

5. My best friend(s) – often let me down

6. I don’t understand – people!

7. I lost respect for – academia

8. I last ate – pizza and chips for dinner last night

9. The meaning of my display name is – er.. my name

10. Love is – amazing

11. Someday – We will be a proper family with a white picket fence

12. I will always – dream

14. I never ever want to lose – my curves

15. My blog is – almost dead

16. When I woke up this morning – I was annoyed coz i had to get up for the post man

17. I get annoyed at – having to do stuff that i don’t want to do

18. Parties – are a bore

19. My pet’s – live with my parents

20. Kisses – are better than sex

21. Today I – Have already cleaned the kitchen and its only half 8

22. I wish – that I didnt have so much typing to do today

23. I really want – a good degree

PRESENTLY-

01. Is your hair wet? no
02. Is your cell phone right by you? it sure is, although no one will phone it

03. Do you miss someone? a bit
04. Are you wearing Chap Stick? no, but i need some!
05. Are you tired? yeah
07. Are you watching TV? yeah , GMTV (yawn)
08. Are you wearing pajamas? no, i thought i should get dressed today

HAVE YOU-

01. Recently done anything you regret? er.. Dont think so
02. Ever lied? totally
03. Ever stuck gum under a desk? No!!
04. Ever kicked someone? yeah unfortunately
05. Ever tripped over your own feet? yeah

TODAY-

01. Have you cursed? no
02. Have you yelled at someone? no, i dont yell
03. Have you gotten mad at someone? no, theres no one here.. hehe

RANDOM-

Q: is there a person who is on your mind right now?: the postman.. when will he come!?
Q: do you have any siblings? nope – apart from my adopted sister in law!
Q: Do you want children?: Yeah girls.
Q: do you smile often?: not as often as i should
Q: do you wish on stars? no, I wish on myself!
Q: do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? nah
Q: do you like your handwriting?: Yeah I love my handwriting
Q: are your toenails painted? yes but very chipped!
Q: are you a friendly person? Im a nice person but I like to have my space!
Q: who’s bed did you sleep in last night?: mine and marks!
Q: what size ring do you wear? Ooh just got a ring, but dont know coz i forgot
Q: what colour shirt are you wearing? black
Q: do you have any pets? two cats at my parents house, my doggy died last year
Q: what were you doing at 7pm yesterday? Eating dinner perhaps!?
Q: ever cried on your friend’s shoulder?: hmm not sure, ive cried on my fiances shoulder! and hes my best friend
Q:has some one cried on your shoulder?: hmm dont really know

Ive just spent my whole morning and some of this afternoon visiting the local hospital for an outpatients appointment in cardiology.

When I go in, im seen to quickly, a nurse measures me and weighs me and then tells me I’m going to be called for an ECG and then will see a doctor. So I sit and I wait, I wait for an hour seeing other people that came in after me going for their Echos and seeing the consultants, I wait for an hour hearing the old people talking about how amazing it is that the battery in their watch lasts a whole 5 years! I wait for an hour watching the nurses do nothing except walk from room to room with files and whenever they have to pass another nurse thats walking from room to room with files, bumping into them and giggling to one another, looking comically at each-other and saying ‘ooh hello again’.

So Im sitting ans waiting, mostly trying to read my book, and looking at the clock ticking round and round and round, and knowing there is nothing wrong with my heart anyway. I was only there because I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and that can sometimes make your heart valves all stretchy and not work properly, and I am due to have my wisdom teeth out soon and the teeth man said I had to get my heart checked before he’d give me an anesthetic.. *take breath*. But I know theres nothing wrong with it, coz nothings ever come up before! So anyway.. Im waiting..

Then over an hour later.. a dippy doctor calls me into her office.

Doctor: Sooo.. Youve got EDS.
Me: yup!
Doctor: Do you want to tell me whats been happening then
Me: Blah blah, tooth doctor sent me blah blah
Doctor: So have you had your ECG?
Me: Nope!
Doctor: *looks puzzled* hmm, right
Me: They said I was supposed to have one
Doctor: yes it might be in a few days
Me: no they sat me down in the waiting room to wait for one just now!
Doctor: Ahh well ill check that out.
*Doctor goes out, and comes back*
Doctor: Ah there arent any slots available today
Me: but thats why I’m here!
Doctor: Well ive just been told there arent any slots available today.
Me: right!
*Doctor listens to my heart with a stethoscope and then decides she cant hear anything bad but goes out again to talk to the consultant*
*Lanky tortoise like Consultant comes in bowing slightly and looking at me with a patronising grin on his face, he sits down facing me and looks neutrally at me*
Consultant: soooooooooo, youre heart sounds normal but we are going to get the echo just to double check. *looks down at me and weakly asserts :* sorry for all of this.
Me: right yeah i thought there wouldnt be anything
Consultant: ah yes but we must just make sure, the Echo is much more sensitive than the human ear you see..
Me: yeah im sure!

So anyway they send me over to another side of the hosipital to give a form in to request an Echo! .. and then i went home!

So essentially I went all the way over to the hospital (a 45 min journey may i add) to take a form over to the other side of the hospital to request the echo that i originally went in for! Nice!

If i had to deal with these dippy, patronising, unorganised, stupid people more often I think i might kill myself!

Im not sure if anyone really reads this anymore, Ive been a bit rubbish lately.

Well.. Ive had a terribly lethargic day! Apparently this heat will reduce a bit tomorrow which will be a relief i think.

I’m really bored and fed up already with writing these dissertations. I have written half of one and have yet to really significantly start the other. I also have an essay to give in next week and I’m supposed to be doing a presentation too which I don’t think ill be able to find the energy or time to prepare for, so I might chose to sacrifice that particular 10% in favour of my sanity and the other work i have to do!

The house is still practically doing nothing. The solicitors are impossible to reach on the phone and wont give us any answers when they decide to actually answer the calls. They are waiting for searches and wont say when they’ll be done! We are also still waiting for our builder to give us a quote on the rendering that needs doing, then  we want to try and re-negotiate the purchase price.. which is scary, and i hope they go along with us, or I don’t know what we will do, especially if the works gonna cost a fortune!

Anyway, things have been quiet with this blog lately, and for that i appologise, but most of you know where to find me if you want a chat!

Now I sobered up on my way to the club but I already had a glass of wine and two double archers and lemonades (yes I know totally girly drink) but when the housemate shoved another archers and a shot of something in my hand I knew that tonight was gonna be one of those nights.

The music in the Honey Club was clubby, it was student night so it was just normal club music with a really violent bass beat that echoed through my body into my chest and made me feel really ill. I was convinced I wouldnt be able to stay in there very long coz i started to feel sick and claustrophobic and felt a panic attack coming on. Luckily the honey club has a few different smaller rooms that play different music than in the main part of the club. We ended up in what Id say must be the alternative rock section (im terrible at classifying music), such as keiser chiefs, killers etc which is my favourite type of music ever so as the housemate forced shots down me I got on a major high and jumped about to the music. It was a really good atmosphere in there and I really enjoyed myself.

When we ran out of money we left and went to an all night cafe and had some grease and a coffee to try and sober up. We were both waisted, but fine with it. The housemate started talking, and maybe he shouldnt of coz he started saying some nasty things about the fiance and our relationship, which he thinks is not going to last etc. He is the most cynical man Ive ever met, he doesnt see the point of relationships at all and disagrees with them totally. The thing is he cant see that he is in the minority, and is really self-righteous about it. Us poor souls in a relationship are doomed to misery and hes up on his plateau judging everyone. It made me sad that he has no faith in the fiance and me, he doesnt seem to understand what real love is about. He thinks that the only possible reason a man wants to be in a relationship is to have sex on tap. He applys that to the fiance and me, which is obviously totally warped.

Despite that we had a fabulous evening, and I fell into bed at 4am. I dont normally go clubbing and I dont normally drink these days. I dont think Ive had a night out like that since I was 18. I did enjoy it, I enjoyed the good music, I liked getting drunk and being able to dance around without feeling stupid. However I cant be doing with the fussy clubs and the fussy bouncers, and giving your bag in before you get in, and the messy toilets, and the queue to hang up your coats, and the stupid pouring out of your soul that drunk people do, the hang overs that ruin the whole next day, the feeling of shame wondering what you might have said. Its just something you grow out of, or something Ive grown out of. It was a great night out, I really enjoyed it, but to be honest, in the long run, I much prefer a night in front of the tv with my man!

So, its that time.

Ive had emails flooding into my inbox asking me to buy tickets for my graduation, giving me links to the PDF document showing smiling mortar board wearing girls, asking me to buy my gown.

This fills me with dread. I’m just not ready, when did this happen, I’m gonna graduate? But I haven’t really got my head around English Literature yet.. I don’t think I’m ready.

Graduation is what its all about, its the day that shows you that all your hard work has been worth it. Or its the day that you wish you had done more.

I have no idea what grade I am going to end up with, not even slightly. This must be what is filling my heart with dread mixed with excitement, motivation and pride. Its the day that my parents will cry, ill pose for pictures, and ill receive my BA. or will I?

I’ll thank you all in advance for your comments, that, I am sure, will say that I’m worrying about nothing, you know I’m intelligent, you know Ill do well. People have been saying that to me every time I talk about this. The reality is, I don’t know if I’m gonna do well.

I was one of the girls that were top of my year at School. I got exceptional AS grades and reasonable A2 grades. I received an unconditional offer from my university because of a glowing reference from my English Teacher who enthused rather dramatically that I was a genius! (pah!) I was told when I entered university that I was one of the elite, that just being a part of this particular department in this particular university meant i was special! (pah again!) So I was confident, I was enthusiastic, and I was blown away with pride that I was here, my dream was always to get a degree, and here I was. I told everyone that I would get a First, I wouldn’t stop until that happened. My first ever essay at university was First standard and I was told I was very promising.

I don’t know what happened. As time went on, the work got too hard, I began swimming out of my depth, the grades went down and down, I was struggling to get that 70% grade, then i was struggling to stay in the 2:1 bracket and now I’m fighting to get out of the 2:2 bracket. I’m coming to terms with not being a bright spark, the fact is I was a big fish in a very small pond, and now, I’m barely even poking my head above water!

So, my graduation day will be the proudest day of my life, but It will always be tainted by that realisation that I tried and tried, but never lived up to my own expectations. I just couldnt do it!